:+:dDizzyNeZzOfSmokes:+:

2day it’s hari raya haji where basically all of d wishes are that for kita pTani2 ani’s dat we are able to korbankn perkara2 dat make our life jauh dri mengingati Allah...well in Brunei punya condition life are getting so quite pressurable where it seem as if a lot of shortage happen hahaha y I’m saying dat bcz a lot of things’s stil need to be improve…hmmph~~

Korbankn perkara2 yg blh make us jauh dri ingat Allah,Such as wat?? An ukhT was YM-ing wit me last tym well basically she ask me” do I ever have a wish but knowing dat dat wish wud not come true?” kahkahkah as a normal person ofcz I hv ever hv a wish n stil wishing evntho I know dat those wish wud not come true…. It quite menyedihknlhh afta dat cz rily2 it rily brings me back abt how much I rily want it to be true…p kn ohwell~~ jz need to continue on tawakal to Allah n berserah diri totally…which recently I been totally learning to tawakal, to accept things cz wat eva hppn is 4 d best of myself juakn hence^^ tawakaltu ala’llah I’Allah Allah wud bagi a reason 4 dat

Well talking abt tiz kn basically means that d things dat I wish 4 is rily sumthing dat I shud be forgetting o korbankn in which 4 tz part rily I admit dat it is so hard rily hard braVizZZ smpai der’s a tym dat I keep on nangiZZ*stupidly* ntahlah it as f emotion atu terlalu take over myself n telling honestly it been 3 tyms ordy dat I ordy try to tgglkn but den myb stil g not cukup muhasabah diri den I got floating again n again n up til d 3rd tym mmg Allah sentak myself huhuhu cz rily I nd to love Allah more den everythings*hw I been stupidly nda ikut ketetapanNYA…WaHHH!!!*

It rily’s hard cz 1 thing’s dat how dat haTi of kita nd to keep on muhasabah dgn seberat2 muhasabah 2nd thing’s dat hw d haTi need to rily kawal d desire of buat stupid things tym sad/strezz..3rd thing’s how bzneZZ make us as a dai’e who keep only mind to Allah….well dat’s my xperience as a girl who owez look 4 loVe n care…seriously things’s hard~~

Well d most important thing’s look on wateva things wit rsa ceria n ketenangan n owez berprasangka baik dgn Allah*learning* I’Allah Allah beri kelapangan didalam dada…I’Allah
Well~~dat’s for now kli, cz it seem as if I carry on talking basically I wud be writing a very long composition as I usually do huhuhuh ohwell my habit to XpreZZ everything in words ohwelll~~jzkk to all n do help me to keep on muhasabah diri I’Allah&isTiQomah…

EID AL’ADHA*^-^*

Moga raya kli ini mmbuat azam kita smakin bertambah increasing in tinggalkn perkara2 yg Allah tidak redhai &moga kita akan dapat mengorbankan perkara2 yg akan buat kita lari jauh dri mengikut ketetapanNYA

Kullu’aam wa antum bikhair

201207\@WestStreetCafe\Song::HujanGerimis\Condition::StreZZ wit bau Asap+Sedih oh how those kids behave,beri kecian ehh+a bit mabuk bcz of d smokes+rindu my syg2 who been waiting 4 me lastnyte+i mz my syg2 now!!

:+:HujanGerimis:+:

HUJAN GERIMIS

MASIH BELUM BERHENTI

TIADA DAPATKU PULANG

TERASA INGIN KUTATAP WAJAH

MEMBELAI MANJA

AGAR HILANG LELAH DAN RESAH

HUJAN GERIMIS

YANG AKAN MENEMANI

PERJALANANKU PULANG

TIADA DAPAT LAGI KUTUNGGU

TERASA RINDU

UNTUK BERSUA DENGANMU

INI BUKAN SATU ILUSI

HANYA KASIH YANG ABADI

HADIRMU BAWA CAHAYA

TERSENYUM GEMBIRA

ANUGERAH YANG MAHA ESA

DIKAU CAHAYA

TIKA MALAM MENJELMA

SINARMU MENYULUH

LORONG GELITA

BILA DEWASA

JADI INSAN BERGUNA

TAAT PERINTAH-NYA

SENTIASA

hmm krg@5.30 swimming@anggerik hotel i'Allah den afta isya i jz know ada meeting on hal camping....huhuhu ohwell dlm hati ni ntah kanapa rsa sgt2 sedih...it is 17 days left b4 attchment abz n huhuhu zie baru terasa sedih..huhuhu cemepan??

Dec112007\4:32pm\@ofiz\song::permataku\

Condition::BLANK!!*^~^*sedihnye huhuhuhu....

:+:HaTiYangMerasaTangisannya:+:

Abu Hamzah Anas bin Malik, radiyallahu 'anhu, who was the servant of the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, reported that the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said:

"None of you truly believes (in Allah and in His religion) until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself" [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

:+:Within10Minutes:+:

hw by jz within 10 minutes many things were happening...again&again i was stunt when i was watching d video dat i purposely stamp on my blog...it's painful to see but den kn dat is wat real life are...

wen i was 12, i dreamt to be a doctor so i work my best to achieve d dream to be inside a science stream student so dat i cud accomplished it...when i was 18yrs old in upper 6th d dream seem to be closer n nearer...during those yrs dat i was encountering each day, each minutes, each sec i jz think abt my study, my dream, myself and dat's all i care*being hipokrit*... during those yrs war had exploded btwn palestine&yahudi but i nva care

"so wat war hppn der? it got nothing to do wit me...it not as f ppl in brunei are dying n got effected by it" my little naive self think so...for me it's ok for all those killing&bombing of ppl in palestine during dat tym..y bother to care? news abt it from tv, radio, newspapers,n etc i take it easely cz rily y do i hv to bother since it does not rily effect my life...*stupid me*

Den it's fated dat i cudn't no longer be in a science stream after my A'Level...been frustrated as ever i cntinue my study in my IPT now...until i met a guy*let me call him A* n got invited to attend a nyte session with dem.

it was August4th2006,it was my 19th birthday n dat nyte it was raining heavily in my IPT*my 1st tym to stay@dat IPT so late* watching d rain fall down feel so romantic&calming*nva occur in my head to say subhahannallah/alhamdulillah during dat tym* den OMG der's tz another guy dat i hate to be with*let call him Y* standing outside of surau*our venue dat nyte*reading a piece of paper...looking at him create uneasiness inside me cz 1 thing's he is way to alim 4 me..but dat nyte also wen d event started der's something abt him dat i cudn't stop admiring*blush* dat's his way wen he talk abt "islam" n d environment der.... it's my 1st tym meeting&talking wit them*been d only girl@those tym* but dey all treat me nicely&sweetly....he talk abt big "i" and small "i" n alot of other stuff...n when d event are over i found my self unconciously liking dem

After dat 1st nyte i got so attached wit them,n go into every evnt dey cnduct n continually messaging wit d "A" guy..well almost everytym like pagi, lunch, evening&nyte*gosh, hw close cud i be wit him*well okai now let cut some privacy part of me...

Cut....

Cut...

Cut...

Cut...

well yeah....afta only less den a month i met up with student from ireland...11-12 medic student who r lead by kak Aisya...my dat day is also my 1st tym meeting babah, a medium size guy wit a v.sweet&frenly smile*chuckles*dat day also d v.1st tym 4 ukhT Hani 2 join in*she been worried abt me wen i told her abt my nyte wit all guyz*n dat dat we r talking abt Salah Faham Terhadap islam...hmm...cmtulh 2piknya..n dat whole day i was accompanying dem...hehehe ikut dlm 1 keta n OMG ahakkZZ i dn't know where we are in brunei location*blush* honestly alot i learn dat nyte where dey are talking abt pejuang2 islam huhuhu terasa disentak&terinspired

"^phrase"tk smstinya aku mencuri bermksd hatiku tk beriman"itu phrase tk laku-->cz apa2 yg dilakukn itu mereflex hati, bila kita buat maksiat itu tndanye der's sumthing wrong dgn haTi kita^"- kata2 kak Aisyah pd ptg pertemuan pertama kmi dlm perkumpulan d IPT ptg itu menyentuh hatiku dan membuat diriku berfikir...*b2l juga*

Keesokkan harinya kmi telah pergi keGua Niah bersama dgn babah&Kak S,dgn hanya 3 buah kereta perjlnan kmi bgtu jauh...3 buah kereta mengangkut 15 org....diriku ddlm sebuah kereta bersama kak nani, kak laili, kak S dan kak ilah,dan Omar *agaknye* dmana dlm kurg separuh perjalanan sbuah kereta rosak mgakibat kn kmi menjdi sardin ahakkZZ...melalui tmpat gereja where kmi nd 2 ambil air....*pertama kli babah ask me to tke d water* &dlm perjalanan without i realise i hv been interested to hear story abt islam from kak Laili...cncentrating each word she was saying n DUP i'm in love...

N while almost reaching Niah, it was already zohor period n we hvn't solat yet so we stop at an area n ask d makck who sold some stuff wearing tudung...

"assalamualaikum mkcik, eemmm blh kmi tau dmana ada msjd/surau/tmpat smbhyg?"

"huh?? msjd/surau/tmpat sembhyg?? maaflh nak kt sini tkde surau cz org smbhyg kt umah...klu ada surau pun letak dia dkt dgn balai polis"

PAKK...terasa mcm nk pgsan saat dgr kta mkck itu huhuhuhu i feel like i cn't believe wat i was hearing,*serious, nada surau?? u must b joking* it as f d whole perjalanan mencari surau itu mmbuat ku berfikir*come on, malaysia's one of d muslim country, hw come der's no surau yg terdekat??, nada org smbhyg kh at dat area? nda p2t* entah bila bermula nya sensitiviti ku namun itulah rationalku yg suka berfikir...

Lalu kmi pun meneruskn perjalanan kmi ke Niah, niat pun smbhyg jamak...tiba d Niah it was ordy kn asar so dtg2 disitu kmi lalu mkn &solat jamak...my 1st tym practically solat jamak...n der kmi mulaknlh operasi meneroka gua Niah....

Terkesannya myself wit dem's d way dey mixed wit e.otha, where dey practically do d ukhuwah islamiyah--> dey interact wit otha wit love&respect, den dey smile sweetly, shared things such as food, drinks*my 1st tym 2 bersharing2 ngan org yg bru ku kenal*, den dey even look 4 e.otha...terlalu indah SUBHANNALLAH....terasa indahnya...dey treat me like we met 4 a very long tym ordy n it's quite touchy...i quickly get attached wit dem...

Niah++Blik tym::

dlm perjlnan blik tu babah telah assign ki2rg to ckp sal "gua"hmm n i dn't hv any idea so i jz say anything lah p basically those sharing session quite effective for me utk reflex kekuasaan Allah...ya Allah betapa hambaMu ini telah sekian lama tdak melihat &mensyukuri nikmat yg Kau berikan, ampunknlh kmi....

sTiap pertemuan psT ada perPisahan...saat kmi berpisah, i feel i wanna cry...sedih sgt2 cz i hv extract alot of perasaan ngan durg...n talking abt dz make me rindu kn jmpa durg lagi...jzkk ya ukhT kerna berusaha mmbuka pintu haTi ana*sniff sniff*

Afta dat 2 days ngan durg, i even cnsistently attending events yg d guys adakn n automatically be part of d ppl who are incharged for e.event... i attend more classes*held by babah n also umi...get more n more attached...

Den 1 day d guyz are handling a palestian talk for my dept, d whole dept attend n i sit on d 2nd row wit ukhT Hani&cicitnya...den it started wit talks n so so until *PAP* i feel a slap @myheart&face looking on d videos n hearing each word d "Y" guyz are saying abt PERSAUDARAAN DLM ISLAM...i look up@d video n start to cry, cz rily der's no such thing as boundaries dat separate brunei/palestine/bosnia/any otha islam country cz f sum1 claim to be islam den he/she must hv d heart to care 4 other muslim... dat nyte i cry so much cz i felt awful wit my self...i hv felt the ukhuwah fillah n ppl in palestine/the ummah out der's rily part of me...der is no such thing as "dat is their problem not mine" cz rily d islam ppl dat were killed out der's my problem...Stunt n Shock i carry on crying d next day...i went seeing "A"&"Y" saying my thankz 4 bringing me into dz real life snapping me from my daydreaming abt hving life my own way&been hipokrit...n wat dey say::

"bersyukurlah&berterima kasihlah pd Allah kerana mmbuka pintu haTi anti"--

Jdi siapa kta dat masalh ummah bkn masalah kita??I hv been alive eversince i know abt mslh ummah, inspired to ikut berjuang, cry 4 wat dey had face,felt hw dey unstoppingly berjuang 4 d sake of islam cz for real dey are part of me, part of org yg kata dirinya islam

Maha Suci Allah yg berkuasa membolak balikkn haTi kmi, jdiknlh kmi mencintai Saudara2 kmi dluar sana dan jdikanlah kmi hmbaMU yg sentiasa sensitive tntg hal Ummah,dan kmi mohon tsabatkn lh kmi di jln mencari keredhaanMU, sggh engkaulah tmpat kmi mengadu&tmpat kmi kmbali kelak...Ya Allah,kikisknlh perasaan hipokrit dlm diri kmi&jdiknlh kmi hambaMu yg sentiasa merasakn kesusahan&penderitaan saudara2 kmi.Ya Allah kmi mohon padaMu sggh Engkaulah Pencipta kmi&Pemilik haTi kmi

sama2lah kita muhasabah diri dan mengingati kembali saat kita mendapat perasaan ingin menyayangi saudara2 kita, kala kita tau tiada boundaries dlm sesebuah negara islam itu

islam itu kata kerja dan bukan kata nama...bila dikatakn kata kerja lakuknlah kerja itu dan jgnlah berlengah2 kerna tiada sapa tau bila kita akan dijemput menghadap ilahi & jgn smpai di akhirat kelak kita wud dtarik ke neraka oleh dosa2 kita yg tidak ambil peduli tntg masalah ummah,tntg hal saudara2 seislam kita yg mengharapkn pertolongan&bntuan dtg dri kita

~sma2lh bfikir sjenak~

bcz 4 within jz 10 min we waste our tym, our saudara out der's facing danger&dying&crying&suffering

61207\1:08pm\@ofiz\Song::Satu tekad\

Condition::I wanna do my best devoting myself for islam, work 4 islam, berjuang for islam, n rasai perasaan utk kebangkitan ummah, menangis utk islam....ukhuwah islamiyah ialah hubungan kerana Allah

:+:PemilikCintaIni:+:

Akhirnya ku menemukanmu

saat haTi ini mulai merapu

akhirnya ku menemukanmu

saat raga ini ingin berlabuh

ku berharap

Engkaulah jwpn sgala risau hatiku

dan biarkn diriku
mencintai mu hingga ujung usiaku

=[Lagu:akhirnya ku menemukanmu]=

well honestly tz song's not lagu nasyid but den kan i jz pick d 1st 2 section of d song cz yg selebihnya lagha~tz 1st 2 section well let say f we reflex kn our relationship ngan Allah cmna..

well i cn stil rmmber d moment i found out abt my true aim of living dat stated inside Quran...mmg 2tally hiduplah smula ditmbh g dgn rsa ingin mencintai ilahi...MASYA'ALLAH perasaan itu mmg sgt indah, terlalu indah...but den kn overtym wen we lupa menyiram perasaan cinta yg mula tumbuh mekar itu den we wud gradually buat ianya layu hnce in d end we wud make our love atu mcm skema *sniff sniff i encounter dat* but den Maha Cinta Allah itu sgt Maha Pngasih...Dia tk pernah lupa utk mencintai kita hmbaNya ani dat owez lupa utk mencintaiNYA...bermcm2& berkli2 Allah sentak diri kita utk ingat akan siapakh diri kita dan bersyukurlh hmbaNYA yg sentiasa snsitive akan sentakkn ilahi manakala yg lagging sikit hndak tersntak diberikan rasa *mencari*...sgala puji pdNYA pada wktu menemukn saat itu smula, perasaan itu smula dgn izinNYA jua rsa kesedaran itu timbul...

ehem~ehem~*where does txt atas tu lead my blog kan*alahai~~i forget what i'm trying to say...errr....oh ya!! hehe...apabila diberikn rsa syg dihati kita dlm menyayangi PENCIPTA kita maka kita haruslh terus menerus mencri rsa cinta itu&menanam nya dgn penuh jaga kerna mmg Allah sentiasa dekat dgn kita tapi f we take things easely without putting more effort in increasing d rsa syg pd Ilahi in our heart den jgn pernah kesal f 1 day we found haTi kita kehilangan kemesraan cinta itu....

p/s:: abt berharap tu...dmaklumkn menyintai Allah ialah penawar sgala apa2 pun....

~~Sungguh Allah Maha Menerima Taubat&Maha Penyayang~~

Ya Allah tingkatknlh cinta kmi kpdMU& jdiknlh Kmi hambaMu yg sentiasa ingat pdMu sungguh MencintaiMu itu lah CINTA HAKIKI

51207\12:37pm\@ofiz\Song::HikMah Kembara\

Condition::Bit Calm Already alhamdulillah

:+:DLoNelinessFeeling:+:

--->tz blog r taken from my msn blog called 1 yr bittersweet memory,sayona bestfren*an old one blog*so i cud oso reflex my self<---with the feeling of usualness we tend to be holding our surrounding tight to ourselves never wanting to let go... as we know we wud get hurt of we let go. we neva hv d slightest feeling dat 4 once we wud hv to let go cz we know we wud get alone...being alone is hurt rily hurt but still hv to let go f the scene is no longer suit to wat Allah hv state in AlQuran... "cara tk menghalalkan syara" dat's wat ppl tend to say..n for thing which happen to be like dat den it wud ve nicer f we let go cz we lived only temporarily in diz world hence it is not fair enough f we used d time borrow to us to bully our own selves which is quite stupid... letting go is d best thing eventho it's hurt but keep on going forward n hold ourselves not to go back anymore n do the stupid things again.

Cry if we wnna cry but neva do d same mistake again..."mgkin apa yg kmu pkr yg terbaik utk kmu, bknlh yg terbaik utkmu dan apa yg kmu pkr yg terburuk utk kmu itu mungkin sbetulnya yg terbaik utk kmu, sggh Allah maha mengetahui"

cry if we wanna do so n f we wanna held some1 n cry to sum1 go to ppl who are mengikut syara'e but f we feel we can't do so but still need to cry, go n cry infront of Allah, our creator bcz Allah lebih tau akan isi hati kita, diri kita kerana kita makhluk ciptaanNYA.

our heart might feel sorrow but trust Allah, keep on hold in ourselves to believe dat we doing so to get keredhaNYA dlm hidup ini n also to not aniaya diri kita sendiri, kerana Allah & rasulullah menyayangi diri kita maka apa hak kita utk mempermainkan dan menganiaya diri kita sendiri... sungguh Allah maha penyayang dan maha Penerima taubat...sekian

31207\12:07pm\@ofiz\Song::Big Girlz Dn't Cry\

Condition::Wreck+Blank+Moody but den kan sabar+syukur+i'Allah mmpu smile